Happy Mother's Day to Super Mums Everywhere!!!

I interviewed my kids and, while you were asleep last night, I interviewed yours (stop worrying, it was fine). I asked them: 'What Super Powers Does Your Mum Have?' This is how they answered. They are such clever kids...

My Super Mum has Super Powers - A Story For Super Mums Everywhere.

By Our Kids.

I have a super mum, and she can do anything. She has super powers that you haven’t even heard of!

My Super Mum has x-ray vision:

When I hurt myself she can just take one look inside my body and say ‘nope, nothings broken.’ Except there was that one time that there was. Then she said she had super sorry powers.

My Super Mum can read minds:

Even when I say I didn’t do it, she can hear me thinking ‘Ha, I really did do it...crap I hope she isn’t reading my mind right now, oh no look at her face, evidently she is.’ Then I get in trouble for what I did, and for lying. SOAB.

She also seems to be able to read the Tooth Fairies mind (‘no she won't give you $200 for one tooth’) and Santa’s mind (‘he will know you already have a dolls house and won’t get you another one just because it has a dual flush toilet’). She's incredible.

Yes, I was thinking I look so awesome right now!

My Super Mum can make herself invisible:

Sometimes when we play hide-and-seek she makes me count to 1000 and then I can’t find her anywhere. When I do find her she says she made herself invisible and hid behind the couch but got bored and came outside for a cup of tea.

My Super Mum is super strong:

She can carry a handbag on her shoulder, the keys in one hand, and seventeen shopping bags in the crooks of her elbows.

I love carrying the groceries! said no one ever.

My Super Mum is faster than a speeding bullet:

Whenever I go to eat the toilet duck, stick a marble up my nose or walk onto the road without looking, she comes from the middle of nowhere and grabs me by the back of the shirt. Her legs move fast. Her lectures on road safety and toilet hygiene don’t.

Blah blah are you listening to me? blah blah..

My Super Mum has super powers of deduction:

Whenever she finds biscuit crumbs on the floor, all of her shampoo missing, the couch cushions under the table, a puddle of milk in the cutlery drawer, my name written in her work diary, or the lid off the honey, she knows it was me - even when the cat has clearly been inside all day.

My Super Mum has a super memory:

She nearly always remembers when it is dress up day, bring a gold coin day, assembly day, mother’s day, faction shirt day, library day, sports day, dance concert day, spelling words day, birthday cupcakes day, Easter parade day, open day, harmony day, orientation day, news day, casual clothes day, crazy hair day, swimming day, and bring your lunch/a piece of fruit/homework/hat/spare clothes to school day (which happens to be everyday). And she nearly always remembers to pick me up at the end of the day.

My Super Mum has freeze powers:

Sometimes we will be running around the house and jumping on the couch and pulling everything out of the cupboards and she will stay calm and stay calm and stay calm and stay calm and stay calm and then she will scream at the top of her lungs ‘STOP, OH MY GOD STOP, YOU LITTLE SHITS THAT IS ENOUGH!!!’ and we freeze. Then she gives us our own super cleaning powers and puts us to work.

And if I hear you singing again, the chamberpot hits the floor.

My Super Mum has Super Mumming Powers:

She gives us super warm cuddles, and super loving kisses, and super funny tickles. She can make bad dreams go away and can answer any question we ask her. She is happy when we are happy but also lets us be sad and frustrated and angry. She never calls us names or tells us to shut up. She lets us fall but help us to get back up. She keeps us safe and helps us solve our own problems. She teaches us to be kind and wise and strong, and gives us ice cream if we eat all our vegetables (but not everything on our plate because no one should have to keep eating if they are full). She sometimes overthinks things but is still super fun and completely surrounds us with sweet, happy, truly unconditional love.

Such beautiful, sweet kids we have. So insightful, and with such good vocabulary...

Happy Mother's Day Mums, god knows we are all frickin super x